The End of a Long Week
This has been a bizarre week, leading up to a day of negativity today. Part of it is that I had to deal with some things at work that are normal things for a Writing Program Administrator but that aren't pleasant. Sometimes you have to give people bad news, and I did a fair amount of that today. I decided to get it all done and not put it off. The band-aid approach, just ripping it off. It's probably not all over yet, but I have done all I can and should do as of now.

And some people who mean the world to me are going through very hard times right now. Twice this week, I've had people come to me for help, knowing that I couldn't do anything except tell them they are not alone in this. I do wonder if there is something in the air considering that bad things seem to be happening to more than one person in my world.

It's cloudy and rainy today, which fits my mood. I spent a chunk of time in the office handling the crap I mentioned before. Then I finished all the filing I talked about last week. Yes, if I'm feeling down, nothing helps my mood improve like organizing! I have meetings next week, but I also plan to get going on that little tenure file.

Even though some I love are hurting right now, is it wrong of me to say that it feels good to be trusted? Nothing makes you feel like a friend to someone like realizing you are the only one or one of the few to be told something big. It makes you want to feel worthy of their confidence. It's easy to do when I know they'd do the same for me.

Here's to brighter, sunny days ahead.
- posted by Nels @ 7:40 PM | | | Link |

 
Time for the Couch
I don't like going that long between entries. And there is no reason for it other than a bit of a collapse at the end of the semester. I finished grading and posted grades, which is a great feeling. I have meetings on Monday and Tuesday, and Commencement is next Sunday. Other than that, I don't have a lot of deadline work to do. Of course, there is a long list of things to get done, but they do not have to get done right now. Da Man still has a lot of grading to do and is getting ready for a week away. I'm tempted to stretch out on the couch and catch up on Netflix rentals. Da Man says I should, but I'm feeling a bit of an itch to do some other things, but I wonder if the itch is more from guilt than inspiration.

I did go into campus a couple of days after finishing my work in case there were some issues with the writing courses. And I wanted to get some filing done in my beautiful office. In a couple of weeks, I'm going to dive into the tenure file, and I don't want anything in the office distracting me. And I want room to spread all the crap out that is going into the file.

Yeah, I think it's time for the couch. Gotta take that time while I can.
- posted by Nels @ 1:38 PM | | | Link |

 
My Campus Office
I really do love my campus office. I moved the end of the hallway last year, which gave me a window to the side. It's small, but feels more cozy than cramped. That's the desk I bought at Ikea last summer. We don't have to buy our own furniture, but I didn't want the standard issue desk. I have to move sideways between the desk and a floor-to-ceiling bookcase, but once I'm ensconced in my chair, I love being there. There's lots of room on the desk, and now that I have a color laser printer to go with the iMac.

As I think I've said before, I plan to bring all of my records and files to the office in the next couple of weeks and spend a few hours each week sitting in this office putting together my tenure file. I think having it all away from home will be good for me. I work on it a bit, and then I leave it behind. Slow and steady wins the race, right?

I liked my old office down the hall (arranged much like this but with the old desk and such), but I'm actually planning to spend more time here this summer.

An anal-retentive Virgo's dream!

- posted by Nels @ 11:39 PM | | | Link |

 
Meaningless and Random
*You know that card commercial for Mother's Day where the mother gets the card that plays EMF's "Unbelievable"? Am I the only one who finds it odd to use that song since it's about a lying, cheating girlfriend?

*Yeah, I'm getting really tired of all of the commercials and emails related to Mother's Day. At first, I just rolled my eyes and made sarcastic comments about not needing to worry about that this year. Now, they're making my stomach clench. Da Man and I have already decided to stay in all day while he makes lasagna.

*I spent tonight doing something that felt totally decadent. I read magazines. Da Man is at his grad school doing research for final projects the next couple of nights, and I went through mail from the last couple of weeks. I then stretched out on the couch with magazines and catalogs.

*One of which featured an interview with Kim Cattrall. Sex and the City is going to be the best movie ever. I'm actually glad they waited a few years. It hasn't been long enough to make us fans forget and not care but it has been long enough to give them time to develop a story and make us fans want to know what's been happening for four years. They do actually live in NYC, you know.

*Brothers and Sisters was really good tonight! I feel really bad for Rebecca. And Saul. And Sarah. I'm sorry the season is ending next week.
- posted by Nels @ 11:52 PM | | | Link |

 
Seeing the End and the Beginning
It's still freaking me out to get hundreds of hits a day for an entry I wrote months ago, but so be it! Wish I got a dollar for each one of those hits.

But we are nearing the end of the semester. And what is looming for me like the giant elephant that it is is the tenure file I'll be putting together all summer. My plan is to get my office on campus organized and take everything there to work on throughout the summer. I plan to go in two or three days a week and work a couple of hours on it all so that I make steady progress. I've been collecting sample files from my colleagues, and it certainly doesn't look complicated. It just takes time to condense everything into one coherent document.

I have to admit that I did get a little excited the other day putting together a list of possible outside reviewers for my scholarship. That part is stressful, but I am actually enjoying putting that list together. And I've been emailing a ton of people asking questions about acceptance rates. It's been kind of nice to find out that some conferences I attended were pretty competitive.

Since I won't have grading to do until Monday when final projects come in--and no class prep since they are just turning in projects--I spent today doing some major organizing here at home (much like other people). I finally went through some piles, made some new files, and just cleared off some surfaces. I'll do more of that tomorrow.

And my email is empty! I'm doing the GTD thing of going through it and responding to all messages I can while filing all others away into an Action file for later. I'm also trying not to check it as often. So far, so good (after two days of it).

I really want to go about all of this as smoothly as possible. I'll freak out later, but for now, I'm enjoying the preliminary parts of the process.
- posted by Nels @ 10:37 PM | | | Link |

 
Checking the Stats
Umm, this blog here? This little old thing some of you have been reading for months and years? I've gotten over 5200 hits today! Yes, over five thousand hits today! Why? Because the DC Madam committed suicide, and thousands of people are searching for information on Brandy Britton, and my entry pops up on the first page.

Oh, my, in the time it took to write that paragraph, I got seventeen more hits. Am I going to get over six thousand today? The most I've ever gotten before was almost three hundred!

If any of those searchers hop over to the main page here, Hi! Welcome!

I checked again for twelve more hits! Is she being talked about on CNN right now or something?
- posted by Nels @ 9:07 PM | | | Link |

 
"If My Father Caught Me He Would Cut My Neck..."
Today is the release date for A Wolf at the Table: A Memoir of My Father by Augusten Burroughs. Some caveats before I write this entry. I'm not a huge fan of Running with Scissors. The tone feels very uneven. But I thought Dry was brilliant. Quite honestly, I thought that he learned from writing the first book, which is why the second book feels tighter and clearer. I have his two books of essays but haven't really read them. I am looking forward to this one, though, hoping it is more like Dry than Scissors.

But this entry is about something that is driving me crazy. There is a cover story about Burroughs in New York magazine. And the whole point of the story is to catch Burroughs in a lie. Those of you who are longtime readers will remember how upset I was at the James Frey incident. I won't even go back to find the entries I wrote because of the pain I was feeling at the time.

A lot of people think I am naive, but I believe in the possibility of truth. There is a lot to say about how truth can be defined, but I do believe in a line--or continuum--between fiction and nonfiction, truth and falsity. One of the things I love about memoir is the transformation of experience into narrative. I appreciate the challenge of fiction, of turning creation into narrative, but it's not a process that interests me. Therefore, I'm not a big fiction reader.

The thing about Burroughs is that the family he wrote about in Scissors has been trying to prove he lied, that he did what Frey did. But they can't do it. One thing that stunned me about that case is that they questioned such things as whether he saw a child poop on the floor or whether a particular sister's apartment was filled with African artifacts. One of the accusations Burroughs levels at the family is that their father raped his mother. There's a chapter in the book about the father keeping her trapped in a hotel room. No one has ever questioned that. In fact, no one ever says a word about it. When I read details about the case, I went back to the book to see if I was remembering that part wrong, stunned that they would question what kind of art someone owned but letting rape accusations go. I wasn't wrong.

Interpretation of experience is subjective. That's a whole lot different than Frey saying he was in jail for months instead of hours or days. If you're not a memoir fan, then don't read them. But this craving on the parts of many to search for falsity drives me crazy, the whole guilty until proven innocent thing. I admire Burroughs for standing up for himself as he does. Is he arrogant or self-absorbed? Ummm, he's made a fortune for doing nothing but talking about himself, so I think some arrogance and/or self-absorption is to be expected.

Oh, one thing from the New York article that also drives me crazy is that the author tries so hard to find lies while presenting so much evidence that hurts that argument. There is a photograph of all of the evidence Burroughs used to write this book. There are photographs of his father, his father's journals, and scrapbooks kept by his father's parents. It sounds like he was mining the evidence available to write this book.

I'll read the book and come back to talk about it. If it rings false, I'll talk about it. If it doesn't, I'll talk about that, too.
- posted by Nels @ 9:18 PM | | | Link |