Justin Parkes
Parenthood
The roles of parenting between mothers and fathers, especially
fathers, has vastly varied and changed over the years. There are many
contributing factors that attribute to this including working parents,
single mothers and fathers, divorced or married couples, children in
the families, and so many others. There is such a distinct difference
between working families now then say ten years ago or even longer.
Working mothers and stay-at-home-fathers has become much more prominent
in our society. Back in the good o ld days, it was the fathers
responsibility to come with a weekly paycheck to feed his family, while
the mother would be at home with the children, the cooking, the
cleaning, and all of the household chores. The typical term for this
kind of father would be the 'breadwinner'. The dad would come home from
a long day at work, sit in front of the television all night, and
expect dinner cooked for him when he got home. That was the typical All
American household years ago. Although yes, there are still families
that exist of that nature in society today, the number of them are
getting slimer and slimer. It's amazing how many businesswomen there
are in the world today, while the fathers stay at home with the kids.
In the hit TV show, Desperate Housewives, two of the main characters in
the show are married, with 5 kids, one of them being a baby. Throughout
the course of the show, which is now in it's 8th season, they have
switched roles multiple times. There was one time when Tom would be the
hard working businessman that I just described, worked the daily 9 to 5
at a business firm, until Lynette decided that she did not want to be
stuck at home with the kids all day anymore. She wanted something more.
So, she decided to go back to work, while Tom stayed at home with the
kids and transformed himselv into "SuperMom". Then, a twist came about
when Tom felt as though he wanted to go back to work, so he decided to
go for an interview with Lynette's firm, and got the job. Working
together, however, had it's fair share of disasters and fights, which
eventually led them to getting a divorce at the end of last season, and
him moving out, which has led to an estranged family.
Estranged families is a very difficult situation to be in, let alone to
handle. Not all estranged families have to include divorce, however.
Estranged families can be anywhere from parents that fight nonstop, to
parents that never spend time with eachother anymore and feel
alienated, and then there is a worser kind of estranged family in that
the parents get a divorce, for what ever reason. In most cases of
divorced couples, the father generally never used to get custody years
ago. Usually the favor would go towards the mother, because mothers are
always seen as being fit mothers, and presentation is everything.
Mothers are usually better at presenting themselves in front of a
judge, more so than fathers anyways. However, that case has changed
over the years. My parents got divorced 6 years ago. However, most of
the faults lay within my mother. She was not the easiest person to be
married to or live with. Her and my father would fight constantly, and
it wasn't a healthy environment for me, my younger brother, and my
older sister. So they got a divorce, and since they were fighting over
custody of us, we had to go to family court which was not fun at all.
Basically, my father was seen as a very fit father, which he is and
more. The judge ruled my dad to have full custody of us, and my mom
would have visitation rights because she lived so close. So, this just
proves that the cases vary, but the typical stereptype of the mother
always being the best parent, and the father having the faults, is not
always the case anymore as it was more so in past years and decades.
The economy is a big factor and cause in the change of roles between
parents. Like I said before, fathers typically were breadwinners in
that they would make all the money and the mom would stay at home with
the kids. However, with the increase in industrialization and factories
requiring long working hours, fathers become "distant and distracted
from their families". In 2001, the percentage of women working or
looking for work nearly doubled from previous years from 33 percent to
60 percent. The increase in female financial power made financial
support from the father less necessary for certain families. Most
families in todays society rely on both the mothers and the fathers
paychecks, not necessarily one or the other. That has changed from
previous years when it would be entirely the father. In fact, in the
early, many many years ago, women weren't even allowed to come. The
roles of parents have not only changed within the last few years, but
farther back before most of us were even born.
The act of childcare has changed drastically in terms of how much time
a father spends playing with his children. Less strict gender roles
have allowed men to get more involved in tasks around the house,
especially in childcare. President Barack Obama says: "Fathers Day
reminds us parents that we have no more solemn obligation than to care
for our children. But far too many young people in America grow up
without their dads, and our families and communites are challenged as a
result". Fathers are becoming more and more aware that playing an
active role in their childs lives is extremely important and vital for
their everyday life. Working fathers spend one hour more on an average
work day with their children under the age of 13 then they did years
ago. The greatest change in this statistic is seen in fathers younger
than 29, who spend an average of 4.3 hours with their children on a
woek day, almost two hours more than in 1977, when the average number
hours a day was 2.4 hours. However, mothers still spend a great amount
of time with their kids on a daily basis, it is just seen that fathers
are taking a more active role in this, which is good to see. Men are
also taking more responsibility for their children's care, including
daycare arrangements, etc. In 2008, 49% of men said that they take most
if not an equal share of child care responsibilities, which increased
from 41 percent in 1992. Mothers have agreed that men are taking more
responsibility in their childs care, with 30 percent of mothers saying
that their spouse or significant other takes or shares the
responsibility and arrangements with them, which increased from 21
percent. Fathers spend a larger portion of their time playing with
their young children than the mothers do, because children love the
aggressive, rough and tumble type of play that their fathers provide
for them. Fathers don't necessarily have to spend more time with them
than their mothers do to mean more to them, for the children find their
comfort and happiness with their father through play. When fathers play
with their children, it is not solely for entertainment purposes, they
are providing them with a sense of security and teaching them how to
interact with the outside world. This scenario is different from
previous years, where mothers would be doing all of the playing with
the children while the father was at work, and by the time he got home
from work after a long day he would have some relaxing time while the
kids ate dinner, did homework, went to bed, etc. This is proving that
men are taking more of a sense of seriousness in their kids lives than
in previous years, and teaching their children the values and skills
they will need for the future.
The constant change in society values and ways of life adds to the
reasons why mothers and fathers change their ways of how they parent
and what they need to do to make sure that their children have a stable
childhood. The constant economic change in the world, especially today,
is a major cause for the adding of a job to another parent to help with
the income. But regardless of who does what, it is obvious that both
parents play a serious role in their childrens lives, despite some rare
scenarios. The All American family dynamic has definitely changed ovedr
the years, and we should recognize how that change affects society and
the families within it.
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/acf_about.html
ACF
is the Administration for Children and Families. It is an organization
within the Department of Health Services that helps families promote
well being in the social, financial, and emotional aspects within the
family.Parenthood
Bibliography:
1) http://www.apa.org/pi/families/resources/changing-father.aspx
2) http://www.civitas.org.uk/hwu/fathers.php
3) http://republicanherald.com/news/the-changing-role-of-fathers-in-our-society-1.856190
4) http://www.huliq.com/10282/fatherhood-changing-roles-2011-fathers-day-good-time-thank-dad
5) http://workingmoms.about.com/od/workingmomsresearch/a/GenderRoles.htm
6) http://fatherhood.about.com/od/newdadsresources/a/dink2dad.htm
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